Friday, June 10, 2011

My Chains Are Gone

I've been set free... My God, my Savior has ransomed me.

Dennis and I went to counseling together this past Tuesday and Dennis lovingly shared that he felt I had a problem with authority. The pastor at our church that I am closest to also indicated that. I believed him when he said it, but I couldn't immediately see how it was working in my life so I prayed for God to show me and He answered. When I saw it, I was in shock - a GREAT shock, but a shock no less. And for the second time in a couple months I have been set free of something that has had me in bondage for years. Gone were the days of not being able to hold a job. Gone were the days of starting out loving and respecting the authority figures in my life and ultimately being so afraid of them that it would turn to dislike. Gone were the days of condemnation and fear being allowed to run wild in my mind. Gone was the victim mentality. And in this process, God reminded me of a prayer I had prayed and how dropping all these chains was an answer to that prayer. Recently I had asked Him to show me why some people are so joyous in their conversion experience that they want to go and tell the whole world. I wanted to see for myself because it wasn't like that for me. And even now it wasn't that all chains dropped at once, but it is happening so fast really. I am so grateful to God I don't feel like I have words to accurately describe the depth of it.

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