Monday, March 15, 2010

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

Philippians 4:13

I don't know that I've mentioned previously that I have been in business all of my adult working life. At any time if I didn't have my own business, I was studying business or helping someone else start one or grow one. My undergraduate degree is in business management and my "fun" was reading books about business - how to start them, how to improve them, how to lead in them, how to manage them. I thought for sure I'd be in business all my life. Then I got to leave the business world and just be a mom and a wife, and I liked it. After I discontinued selling Tupperware a year ago (May 2009) we realized we didn't need for me to bring in any income and I settled into my new role as VP of Household Affairs. It was a transition that actually took almost 3 years for me mentally.

When my husband and I met in 2000, I was supporting myself and our oldest. I had been doing that alone for 12 years. I don't mean that no one ever helped me care for my son. I couldn't have gotten through without relatives and friends. But financially, for the most part, I was it. When my son was little I worked and went to school, thinking education would be our only way out of the poverty I grew up with. Eventually I got a job that paid more than I hoped to make out of college and quit school. And that's where we were when I met Dennis and we got married. So when our daughter was born in 2005, I wanted to be home with her more than anything, but my mind had difficulty letting go of being a provider. I had a few different businesses from home but when Tupperware ended I was ready. I love being home with her and never missing a thing. I love seeing her personality grow and develop, and I love knowing she is getting more of the stuff we want her to have (hugs and kisses, love, Christ, the Bible) and less of the things we don't. It's a good time. Then I went to the women's retreat with church.

During the second night at the retreat, I was up from about midnight to 5 a.m. with God, working out "stuff". And the Holy Spirit said "What if you were made to be a business woman?" And it came out like "What if God MADE you for the purpose of being a business woman?" That kind of upset my apple cart. Once again, I didn't say "OK God, if that's the way you want it, I'm in." I wish that was my first response. That's my heart's desire - to always want the things He wants for me. But the reality is I'm human and I wanted to just stay an at-home mom. I didn't want anything interfering with my relationship with Him and I didn't want to engage in anything that took time from my family. I can't say too many times how loving and patient He is with us. I did come to grips with it and not long after the retreat, He gave me a wonderful picture of what business as a ministry could look like for our family.

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