Wednesday, November 20, 2013


The family you've been given might not be the one you'd choose, but it just might be the one you need.

My dad was sick.  Death was knocking on his door and sitting on his chest. And dad was happy to oblige him.  He appeared to have given up his will to live and he was literally out of his mind.  Now I know that he was almost out of his body too...until he struggled to breathe.  Then he cried for help.  Dad went to the hospital by ambulance and was air lifted to a larger city.

At the time, dad had 3 dogs and a second wife who'd left him two years prior.  In need of a place for the dogs and not knowing if dad would recover, we reached out to someone in town who could help us place them.  I didn't know that she was also still friends with my dad's second wife. She contacted my step mom and my step mom called me.  I never actually spoke to her as we were very busy in the caring for dad and for his pets and household business.  And by the time she called I had come to the realization that it was a mistake to be in contact with her.  But something that happened was alot of introspection about life with parents and extended family.  When she came into our lives, I didn't want a step mom.  Even now, two years after she'd been gone, I still didn't want a step mom.  But something happened in the reconnection.  I gained a sense of compassion for my dad.  The ugliness of the divorce was on paper and when he went into the hospital I came across those papers.  I was a witness to what he patiently endured.  Previously I had thought her a victim as my dad was not an easy person to live with.  I came to see she eventually got all she wanted and he fought for nothing, even though he deserved more.  Her in our lives helped reconcile me to my dad and hopefully dad to God.  That is our commission - to be ministers of reconciliation.  I came to an understanding that the family you get might just be the one you need, even if it's not the one you want.

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