Wednesday, April 27, 2011


God has been so very good to me. He has taken me to and through many things. And he has given me just enough of a taste of some very interesting life experiences to understand how people live but I have not had to live entirely in those spaces. One example is homelessness. My husband and I both lost our jobs at one point about 8 years ago and we sold our home and moved in with my husband's parents. At one point my mother-in-law tried to talk with us about our situation and I ended up leaving and refusing to return. I lived in my car for a week. Because of that I understand some of the thought processes that can result in someone becoming homeless but I didn't live on the streets for years and years.

Yesterday I went to see a therapist about depression. I came home diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and feeling FREE. I had never really seriously considered PTSD as a possibility for me because in our culture it's associated with soldiers going to war and suffering as a result of the horrific things they witness or have to do. I figured what happened in my childhood was nowhere near that. I was wrong. Once I knew that I was "normal" and that what happens inside of me on a day to day basis is a result of something, I began to accept myself as I am. What would life be like now that I wasn't trapped in this little box that says "You are deficient, you are broken, you are operating below your potential and you'll never be "normal", you are....., why can't you just...." and so many other ways my thoughts abused me relentlessly. In an hour I had explanations for so many troubling things throughout my life and new tools to help me heal. Now I was ok, now I was "normal", now I WAS UNLEASHED to live the life God had always intended for me. And a light bulb went off. With a PTSD diagnosis and treatment, I can help the homeless. I am certain that many, many homeless people suffer from this.

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